Being successful is what we all want. But what is success actually and how do the people around you see that? And is that true? Is not that a fraud?
Let’s start with a catchy text from James Clear:
“The success you see with others is rarely as ‘sexy’ as it seems. People automatically show the photogenic version of their lives and rarely what happens behind the scenes. If an entrepreneur talks about 80,000 euros per month then the 55,000 euros in expenses are not included. 25,000 euros profit is still a nice amount, but it is not the millions of lifestyle you thought it was. When a company talks about getting a big investment, they forget to tell you the pressure and the tensions that it brings to the investors. They forget to tell you about too little profit and the stress it costs.
Success fraud is now bigger than ever by social media. Because social media is looking for the best. The best, biggest and happiest moments work best in the algorithms. If your screen is filled with the strongest, the richest and the smartest, you automatically overvalue the result and undervalue the process. You almost start to think that there are people who have found a ‘life hack’. A ‘life hack’ with only rewards and no consequences.
You can not only have the lusts of your favorite lifestyle. If you choose the lusts of certain actions, then you also choose the charges.
If you want to become a celebrity, you can not only choose fame and pleasure. You also choose the hassle and always be disturbed by others. If you want to become a writer, you can not only choose the book that is finished and the launch. You choose for the months only typing behind your computer. Maybe jealousy and envy each other if we knew the whole story behind success. Maybe we would put other people on a pedestal. If you are not willing to exchange 100% with that other person then you can not be jealous. “
James Clear is talking about success deception here.
That Porsche picks you up on the highway and you think: ‘I have to earn more money because that is success’. You walk along large houses or you see smiling women walking through the shopping streets with lots of bags. In my view, this is also a misfortune. Just like ‘having’ that shiny career.
Recently an old friend asked me on Facebook how my career was, this was my answer:
“Careers are dangerous because people invest in their careers so that they are an identity and social status based on what they do and what they do for a living.”
In other words: a career can be dangerous because it may be that you base your entire identity and / or social life on that career. While you are much more than that career or that function.
I also sent him:
“A lot has changed. I have discovered a new passion: personal growth, minimalism and sustainability. I now write about it on my blog and now I do this together with my girlfriend. In addition, I still do projects for the camera and voice work. So in fact everything stays enterprising. I have discovered that creating myself is very important to me and gives me great satisfaction. Writing yourself, making videos yourself. With the blog we are now also more concerned with sustainability (making the world better and greener). That all together is now my path “.
In this article The Minimalists write that they were ‘success fools’. They saw success in making a lot of money and spending a lot of time on that career. So much time that one of The Minimalists eventually could not be with his mother when she died. (read more in the book ‘Everything that remains’)
Now they find success in a life with meaning. They now see success as follows:
success = happiness + growth + giving to others.
Our society is not always sweet because you are soon not good enough. If you do not earn enough. If you do not own a fancy car. If you do not have a big house. If you do that, and that, and that, and that.
This is what our society unconsciously exhales and sees as success. Partly because of the things you see and hear around you, society says the following:
“Go for the busy lifestyle that is based on money. Follow a training and then climb high on the career ladder. Earn a lot of money so you can buy a lot of shit to impress others. Buy, because then you become happy. Buy, because then you keep the economy running “.
At a cremation, a man said this to me literally: “Money is everything”. He meant it. He was fully convinced. I was shocked and it impressed me enormously. Okay, that money path can be your path but it can also create a huge emptiness and little meaning.
How do I see success?
I see success as follows. It is not wrong to make a lot of money, but the money alone will not make you happy. Go for the lifestyle that is based on meaning and let money support that.
Discover what your path is and let your message for the world be your work. That can be in very small things. Keep on growing as a person and earn money, but let it roll in the right direction and give it to companies that you want to grow. They fit your message.
You are always enough. Do not live up to what others expect from you. Do not live according to what society wants from you, but walk your path. Live spontaneously and organically and trust that things are going well.
Go and search again and again for what your consciousness says to you. Dare to make choices that may be uncertain but that will put you on your life path. You put on what you are broadcasting. The more you live your life, the more confident you become.
‘Do not live to work, work to live’ hung on the wall with my grandmother. She did not succeed, but she did not let it down for nothing. It was her message to the world.
What is your message?