If you would reduce my work as a life coach to just one thing, then I am actually working on the happiness of my clients. Happiness is, therefore, an important theme that me and my clients work hard on. Although some developed countries, like Denmark, are one of the happiest countries in the world, many people are still unhappy in our country. This article goes into this further.
Being happy, how do you determine that?
Everyone will experience happiness in a different way. For one, happiness is a long journey, for the other, happiness is to be together with friends and family. But what makes you whether you are happy or not? Research shows that 50% of our happiness is related to predisposition, 40% is conscious behavior, and only 10% is due to the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
You can not change construction. Depression can happen in your family and be in your genes. But that’s only 50%. You do have an influence on the other 50%. You can still argue about the circumstances in which we are, but you can also change that by means of, eg. to move or change jobs; but if 40% of our happiness comes from conscious behavior, you can positively influence your happiness.
Misunderstandings about happiness
There are various misunderstandings about happiness. Below the three most important ones.
- Happiness is to be found; it is beyond us. Happiness lies in the future or luck should happen to you (for example by winning a lottery).
- Happiness depends on your circumstances. As described above, this is bad for 10%.
- You either are, or you are not. You are born with happiness. If you are born to live on a dime, you will never be living on a quarter.
How do I become happy?
Now that we have removed the misunderstandings about happiness, the question remains of course: How do I become happy? How do I experience happiness? Joy comes from within, and this means that you can do a lot to become happier. Below are my 10 tips for becoming happier and more fulfilled with life:
- Happiness is a verb. You will have to do something about it. You have to cultivate happiness and optimism. How you look at the world determines to a large extent how happy and prosperous you are. Is your glass half full or half empty?
- Be grateful. Show your gratitude and do not take things for granted.
- Do not worry, doubt or make social comparisons. Of course, this is easier said than done, but you could, for example, impose yourself on yourself to spend half an hour every day. It sounds contradictory, but this is a good remedy to stop worrying.
- Cherish your friendships and social relationships. To mean something to others, to be friendly or to comfort others when needed.
- Look at the bigger picture and see the good in what happens to you, even if it is excruciating. Or with the words of Johan Cruijff:
“Every disadvantage has its advantage.” And not unimportant: Learn to forgive. You do not forgive the other person but yourself.
Strengthen flow experiences. Flow experiences are moments where you go all the way in that you do and where time seems to stand still. B.v. when you listen to good music or have a breathtaking view. Look for things that give you energy.
- Enjoy the little things in life. Live in the here and now.
- Dare to dream and set goals for yourself.
- Faith and spirituality strengthen your sense of happiness.
- And finally, but certainly not unimportant: Take care of your own body. Moving makes people happy. So go regularly to walk, exercise or do things in which your body is in motion.
Happy with yourself
Being happy with yourself is the most important thing in your life and should be your priority. You can only give happiness if you are yourself. Only when you are happy with yourself, only then can you be happy with others.