Personal development can be a fantastic journey. There is much to learn, to explore and to achieve: personal, financial, spiritual and in relationships with others. But what if personal development itself becomes a stress factor? What if you do not get along? What if you can not achieve your goals? What if your own growth takes too much time, produces few results and gives you headaches? What if it becomes an obsession?
You are not alone. The risk of personal development is that people take it too seriously, formulate goals that are not specific and want to set the bar too high. The desire to become a better person has become a pitfall. In my view there are 4 reasons for this:
- Do not let personal development become an obsession
- Your personal development goals are not the right ones
- Your goals for personal development are correct, but the implementation leaves something to be desired
- Your goals for personal development were right, perhaps for a long time, but now the time has come for change
Do not let personal development become an obsession
Rule number 1 in everything I do is that I have to find it enjoyable to do it. This applies to private, business and personal development. Without passion and pleasure, the way to reach my goal is full of obstacles and is harder to achieve. Do not let personal development become a source of stress. Why do you have to learn new things if you do not enjoy it?
Your personal development goals are not the right ones.
Everyone is different, including personal development methods and programs. What the miracles can do for them gives little to no result for the other. Are you sure that the path you are following is your path and not someone else? Do not let others make decisions about your personal growth.
Perhaps the following example helps with this. For me, meditation is a great tool. It is the cornerstone of my personal development. But that is for me personally and does not have to apply to others. What if you do not like meditating, maybe boredom soon? Then meditation will become a struggle, and you will have to find something else that is effective. Meditation is not the only method that can increase awareness and reduce stress. There are several ways that lead to the same goal.
Your goals for personal development are correct, but the implementation leaves something to be desired.
Let’s take the meditation example again. I have both a family and a busy job. I manage 2 websites and am also working on a study. My life is full of activities. If I do not take care, there is little time left for something else. This means that if I also meditate (forced), I run the risk of burnout. Instead, I meditate a bit smarter. And I meditate when it suits me; even in places that I would not normally think of. If I do not have time to meditate, on a certain day, it is good too. The best way to integrate personal development into your life is to make it a part of everything you do.
Your goals for personal development were right, perhaps for a long time, but now the time has come for change.
This is a simple reason but often overlooked. Something that was good for you in the past does not have to be this anymore. You have to go further, and changes are normal. Also in your personal development. Maybe you have to take a step back to think about it. Do I enjoy what I do? Am I still on the right track? Do I have to develop new skills, or has the time come to enjoy everything that I can already do? What’s the point of learning 1001 new skills if you can not enjoy it? When is it enough?
I am a great advocate of following your passion. Your body never lies and lets you feel exactly where you are and how passionate you are about your personal development, the methods or tools you use. All you have to do is listen to your body. Personal development must be enjoyable and certainly not cause stress. If that is the case, take a step back, evaluate the situation and make the necessary changes in your life.
Finally:
- Personal development must be fun. Do you have fun?
- Do not let someone else decide on your personal development. It is your life; you determine what is good for you and what is not.
- Formulate your goals but focus on the journey. It is the journey that is important, not the final destination.
- Do not set your goals too high. A journey of thousands of miles begins with a first step.